Episode 39 – Setting up camp in Granville County

Matt and Chris raise a flag to Granville County.  Ville?  Vull?  Yull (Yille?) just have to listen to find out how to pronounce this county.

After a not-quite-brief aside regarding Matt’s podcast attire and the heroes of the Asheboro Mall, Matt and Chris talk with Casey, a Granville County native.  Casey reminesces about the tobacco-free school of his childhood directly adjacent to… a field of tobacco. Despite Casey’s affinity for hot sauce he unfortunately has never been to two of Granville County’s most famous festivals, the Granville County’s Hot Sauce Contest or the Butner Chicken Pickin’.

If you were missin’ some Lords Proprietors in your life than Granville County delivers with its own LP John Carteret.

Camp Butner

Unfortunately Chris did not have time to procure a brew from Tobacco Wood Brewing Company, so Matt and Chris toasted Granville County with a New England IPA Gigablaster from Aviator Brewing Company in nearby Wake County.

You can listen to this episode at:

Episode 38 – Smore talk about Graham County

Matt and Chris walk the mountains and float the lakes of Graham County. Matt opens by quickly explaining why Chris couldn’t find a native brew from Graham County. Chris is surprised that Graham county even exists in the first place. Somehow a forest discussion leads Matt to some quick math comparing Graham County and Manhattan.

Graham County is home to the famous Joyce Kilmer Memorial Forest, a famous poet and World War I casualty who likely never set foot in North Carolina. Graham County is also a veritable land o lakes- or at least two lakes, Lake Santeethlah and Fontana Lake.  If you want to hear more about Fontana Lake and its floating homes, check out the episode Floating Homes of Fontana of Our State Magazine‘s podcast Away Message. (Please don’t sue us).

Chris gives an objective measure to the mountainous topography of Graham County, and takes issue with the term Nantahala i.e. land of the noon-day sun. Matt considers whether Lake Santeethlah is really just a Graham County ‘water feature’, and Chris notes the entire mountainous area of North Carolina was a water feature during the Paleozoic Era. Chris almost gets lost down the black hole of midi-chlorians.

Matt notes a bunch of things that Graham County is not named after, which is pretty much everything that sounds like or rhymes with Graham except for William A Graham.  Graham County may be the only North Carolina county to have a Naval Ship named after it- the USS Graham County.

Although Graham County was nice enough to get a warship named after it, America and Graham county was not the most hospitable place for Cherokee Indian Chief Junaluska, who is buried in Graham County, or Peter Jenkins.

As Graham County is North Carolina’s last dry county Matt and Chris can’t actually toast the county with an official native beer, we decided to toast mountainous Graham County with a Buncombe County mountain brew, Gaelic Ale from Highland Brewing. Meanwhile the County Boys discussed various forms of crackers to wash down their beer with.

You can find something to toast this episode by listening to it here:

Episode 37 – Chowan the fat in Gates County

Don’t come here expecting spoilers for future counties- It’s all Gates County all the time in Episode 37.  Chris notes a defining feature of Gates County, the Chowan River, which leads Matt to wonder what the weirdest ocean creature to make its way up the Albermarle sound up the Chowan River is- which somehow wound up with Matt singing Amazing Grace as a manta ray.

Chris compares the population of Gates County (12,197) with the number of IBM employees in the triangle and the capacity of Duke’s Cameron Indoor Stadium. Matt wonders whether Bill Gates could buy Gates county outright- and whether it would come with the furniture and the pigs.

Chris notices that about .5% of Gates County’s current population- or about 60 people- identify as Native American, but was originally inhabited by Nottoway, Meherrin, Chesapeake, Chowanoac, and Nansemond Indians. Matt romanticizes Jodie Foster’s travels in the new world.

Gates County is considered Coastal Plain or tidwater- not quite an IBX member, but just up the Chowan river from Albermarle Sound. A defining feature of Gates County is the Merchants Millpond State Park, presumably home to many corn dog plants aka Cattails- evidently many parts of which can be eaten.

While Merchants Millpond State Park is mentioned on the Gates County Seal it is not featured- you may want to bring a pillow if you want to dissect the county seal.

Chris couldn’t find a beer from Gates County so he toasted Gates County with a Magic Visions Ale from Aviator Brewing Company. Meanwhile Matt recorded leprechaun pirate style, sans beer or rum.

You can find this podcast on iTunes or other podcast apps or listen to it here:


Episode 36 – No One Fights Like Gaston County

Matt and Chris take in the lights as they drive through Gaston County. Chris considers a CountyBoysPodcast.com kickstarter to acquire… countyboys dot com. Matt notes that Gaston County is hosting a free public showing of Beauty and Beast one week in the future- in the past.

Matt notes the legal bullying that got the county seat moved from Dallas to Gastonia.  (Not really).  Chris wonders about the government and business structures necessary to curtail the scourge of… stray dogs. Matt notes how great Alpaca looks when you are hungry.  Chris distinguishes between Kings Pinnacle of Gaston County, the city of Kings Mountain in Cleveland County, and Kings Mountain in South Carolina, site of the famous 1780 Revolutionary war battle.

Courtesy of Tazz250Matt imagines war as a video game (fancy that). Chris discusses the county’s namesake William Gaston, kind of a big deal in 19th century North Carolina- and also Georgetown’s first enrollee (yay!) and first dropout (boo). Meanwhile Matt and Chris compare early admittances against Billy G’s election to the North Carolina State Senate at 22 years old and US Congress at 35 years old.

Matt reminisces about the peaches of youth and wonders about former giant inhabitants of North Carolina. Chris embraces terrible foods. Matt discusses his sleeping arrangements which may or may not be the most amazing thing ever.

Matt and Chris discuss the Mill town politics and the textile strike of the 1920s that happened in Gaston County.

Matt and Chris toast Gaston county with a Mountain Candy beer from Sycamore Brewing located in neighboring Mecklenburg County. (Chris is a big fan of Mountain Candy and you can add him on Untappd).

McAdenville aka Christmas Town USA is home to an annual town-wide Christmas light show that Chris visited in his childhood.  You can see some of the lights on youtube:

You can listen to us yammer about the lights and more on Gaston County at:


Episode 35 – With loyalty we sing Franklin County’s Praise

Matt and Chris harmonize over Franklin County, a “Research Triangle Region Community”.

Chris talks about not-long-for-this-world Bute County and the Duke of Earl, the exploits of Benjamin Franklin, and the Tuscarora Indians. Matt notes the downfalls of wearing Franklins. Chris wonders about the pronunciation of Franklin County’s seat, Louisburg.  (Charming since 1779!)  Matt pitches Franklin County livin’ for its proximity to the Triangle.

Matt bombs the quiz concerning the town of Franklin and the county of Franklin. Chris tries to navigate the waters of the Tar River.

Chris notices that Franklin County is home fo the World Whistling Championship… and promptly gets sucked into an internet blackhole of whistling.  It’s all true.

Perhaps Chris should have looked harder for some of the beer on the banks of the Tar River flowing through Franklin County. As it is Chris toasted Franklin County with a Skillet Stout from Buncombe County’s Burial Beer, while Matt throws down with Some L.A. Crow Ten.

Hopefully you don’t have to look hard to find a link to this episode- you can listen easy at:

Episode 34 – Hyphenating Forsyth County

In episode 34 Matt and Chris bridge the hyphenated spans of Forsyth County, North Carolina’s fourth most populous county.

Forsyth County is located in North Carolina’s piedmont, a word with surprising italian origins.  The biggest city in Forsyth County is Winston hyphen Salem.  Young Salem was founded in 1766, while Winston was founded much later in 1849 (but named in 1851).  The two cities merged in 1913, leading to the moniker twin-cities, and Matt is ready for the Minneapolis v Winston-Salem showdown.

Forsyth County was named after Colonel Benjamin Forsyth, famous for his exploits in the War of 1812.  Although Chris argues that was the only time Washington DC was conquered by a foreign occupying force, Matt seems to recall a few other invasions.

We toast Forsyth County with a Jade IPA from Foothills Brewery in Forsyth County.  Foothills Brewery began brewing in 2005 in Winston-Salem, and is now the second largest craft brewer in North Carolina (by beer production).

Apart from Foothills Brewery and RJ Reynolds Tobacco, Winston-Salem is also home to Krispy Kreme donuts, founded in the hyphen in 1937 by Vernon Rudolph. Winston-Salem was also home to the headquarters of Wachovia Bank, and still home to the tallest building in the Carolinas outside of Raleigh and Charlotte.

You can enjoy this episode hot n now at:


Episode 33 – But You’ll Only Need the Edgecombe County

In episode 33 Matt and Chris don’t just hang out on the perimeter- but dig in to the juicy middle of Edgecombe County, with imagined graphical accompaniment.

Edgecumbe was formed in 1741 and unfortunately for the county’s namesake Richard Edgcumbe, the county founders got the spelling wrong. But Richard wasn’t an LP and Chris couldn’t really figure out why this guy was deserving of a county anyway.  So at the end of the day maybe that’s why it was misspelled- folks just didn’t care all that much about him.

The Tuscarora Indians of Edgecombe County had multiple towns- and they did not get along with each other. As it turns out one of the factions of the Tuscarora Indians played a role in the history of other NC counties- specifically Chief Hancock who captured John LawsonChristoph von Graffenried.  Hancock ultimately killed Lawson- which did not work out well for Lawson or Hancock’s lower town Tuscarora Indians.

Donkeys or large pieces of ice? Tarboro, formerly Tarrburg, is Edgecombe County’s county seat.

In an alternate reality Matt and Chris toast Edgecombe county with a brew from Tarboro Brewing Company. As for this Earth, we could not find any TBC beer in time for recording.

Whether or not you are enjoying a brew from TBC, you can enjoy a listen to this episode at:

Episode 32 – Shooting the Bull in Durham County

In episode 32 Matt and Chris get the lowdown on Dr D, the bull of Durham, Duke University, and Black Wall Street- all of Durham County North Carolina.

Before diving in, Matt and Chris play a little game of Operation on North Carolina to try and find the heart of North Carolina.  Matt plans a romantic getaway.  Chris treads down the Great Trading Path with the Siouan-speaking Eno Native Americans.

Chris warns all listeners away from chewing tobacco. Somehow the subject of hobos comes up again. Matt wonders about the relationship between Bladen County resident Wesley Snipes and Dr. D.

Matt and Chris toast Durham county with a Rocket Science IPA from Durham’s own Fullsteam Brewery.  Somehow we did not wind up drinking a Cackalacky from Fullsteam.

Durham County’s County Seat and practically only city is Durham, not surprisingly.  Unfortunately, no Lords Proprietors are mentioned in relation to Durham County.

You can listen to this episode at:

Episode 31 – Hog tied in Duplin County

Matt and Chris attempt to toast Duplin County with a glass of Hatteras Red from Duplin Winery.  Chris questions the tasting notes of Hatteras Red and has his faith in Amazon ratings shaken.

Matt notes one specific utility of Duplin County’s location proximate the highway to the beach.  Chris discusses the namesake of Duplin County, Thomas Hay, Lord Duplin.  Unfortunately a Lord, but not an LP. Chris also notes that Duplin County is spelled slightly differently than Thomas Hay’s title, Viscount Dupplin.  Matt imagines the County Boys podcast souped up with radio show sound effects.  Chris notes that there used to be another Duplin in the United States- in New Hampshire- but the Hampshirites decided Lempster was a better name.

Duplin County has lots of hogs, and for that Chris gives thanks since he loves bbq. Matt compares the human population of Houston (2.2 million people) to the hog population of Duplin County (2.2 million pigs), and attempts to annoint the giant pig city in Duplin County as “Pigtropolis” or better yet “Pigtropholis”. Chris is somewhat dismayed that Duplin County doesn’t have a bigger bbq presence based on its hog population.

Duplin County plays a part in North Carolina Giant Husbandry, as it is home to a gigantic frying pan, (purportedly the world’s largest frying pan).  Despite the hog population in Duplin the frying pan is actually used for frying lots of chickens.  Or one gigantic chicken.  Either way.  Rose Hill is home to said largest frying pan and the North Carolina Poultry Jubilee, which as far as I can tell is the only day of the year when the frying pan is put to use.  Duplin County is also home to the Carolina Strawberry Festival and the North Carolina Muscadine Harvest Festival.  (Correction to the podcast: Duplin County does not host the NC Pickle Festival).

The biggest city of Duplin County is Kenansville, its County Seat.  The County Boys do not advise searching for pickle husbandry.

You can listen to this episode at:

Episode 30 – Fallin down the Bullhole of Davie County

Matt and Chris celebrate our 30th episode and toast Davie County with a Frostbite Black IPA from Foothills Brewing in neighboring Forsyth County.  Matt questions the genealogy of Davie and neighboring Davidson County.  Chris notes the long tenure of Governor William R. Davie, the namesake of Davie County.

Matt gets… somewhat excited about the boundaries of Davie County, which include the Yadkin River to the east, and to the south with… the South Yadkin River. Chris questions the sources on where exactly High Rock Lake begins- which may be the confluence of the Yadkin and South Yadkin Rivers, but might actually be in the town of Yadkin.

Speaking of the geography of Davie County, Matt and Chris debate the pronunciation of the Piedmont. Next Chris and Matt discuss the county’s RiverPark at Cooleemee, home to the famous Bull Hole. Matt reminisces about the Jesus reunion tour ’86 which may have gone through Jerusalem but probably did not go through Mocksville, which evidently is a hotbed of crime.

Speaking of Mocksville, Chris discusses the Daniel Boone Family Festival of Mocksville and Boone’s Cave Park just across the Yadkin River from Davie County.  The County Boys get excited about a cameo appearance of a Lords Proprietor.

Matt dives deep into Davie County’s NC Bike Fest (NSF normal people).

You can dive into the Bull Hole and listen to this episode at:


Episode 29 – Everybody has a Day in Davidson County

Matt reminisces about his two uneventful trips to Davidson County. Chris discusses the surprisingly high population of Davidson County. Matt discusses Pat Summit and the amateur and professional basketball career of Davidson (College) graduate Woodrow Wilson. Chris speculates about whether the Sapona Indians hold a grudge about losing their river name.  Matt notices the dichotomy between Thomasville being home to the big chair but not being the county seat of Davidson County.

Davidson County is associated with a handful of famous- or semi-famous people, including its namesake Brigadier General William Lee Davidson, Revolutionary War patriot, and Thomasville’s namesake John W. Thomas.

Chris and Matt toast Davidson County with a Fearrington Summer from Durham County’s Fullsteam Brewery. Appropriate in Chris’ mind since sweet tea goes well with barbecue.  After having perhaps too much Fearrington Summer, Matt volunteers various places he aint too proud to swim.

Chris lays out the differences between ‘western’ or Lexington style barbecue and ‘eastern’ style barbecue. Matt recommends BBQJew.com for its domain name and bbq reviews.  Matt wonders if it is enough in life to be delicious.

The boys also talk about High Rock Lake, a bit about the Uwharrie Mountains, and Thomasville’s
Everybody’s Day.

You can listen to this episode at:

Episode 28 – Taking the physical challenge in Dare County

Chris and Matt discuss the different meanings of the term “dynamic”.  Chris notes that the phrase “from Murphy to Manteo” does not even reach to the easternmost point of Dare County (which isn’t even on Bodie Island, the island sitting directly east of Manteo).  Matt express his preference to live in less populated times, an opinion immediately dismissed by Chris.

Chris notes that the famous Lost Colony wasn’t even the original lost colony on Roanoke Island.  Matt wonders how similar the show Lost is to the mystery of the Lost Colony. Chris notes that while the Indian Manteo may have been a Lord, he was not a Lord Proprietor. Chris gives Matt naming advice for when he buys a boat.  Matt is tempted by the Mother Vine.

Matt and Chris could not find any brews from the Outer Banks Brewing Station, so we toast Dare County with beers from Burial Brewing Company.  After getting over the packaging Chris throws back a Surf Wax while Matt enjoys a Gang of Blades.

You can listen to this episode at:

Episode 27 – Digging the Gravedigger in Currituck

Diggers Dungeon

Chris and Matt toast Currituck county with a Weeping Radish Octoberfest brew from North Carolina.

Chris dispels the notion of an island named Bodie. Matt takes particular notice of how peninsula is (not in fact) spelled.  Matt is blown away by Currituck’s county seal.

The LPs make another appearance on the County Boys via Currituck County’s predecessor Albermarle County which is named after George Monck, 1st Duke of Albermarle and a Lords Proprietor.

Currituck Beach lighthouse

Matt is overjoyed to learn that the town (or unincorporated community) of Currituck is located in Currituck County- and is the county seat. Chris shines some light on Fresnel lenses and Currituck Beach Lighthouse.

Matt may or may not unearth the birthplace of one of the most successful cars the Toyota Corolla.

Chris gets super excited about the Digger’s Dungeon, home to one of the most popular monster trucks Gravedigger.

The North Carolina Historical Genealogical Register, Volume 3, Google Books.

You can listen to the episode through download via iTunes or Google Play or here:

Episode 26 – Chewing the Fayette in Cumberland County

Matt and Chris toast Cumberland County with a Patriot Pale Ale from the Mash House Brewing Company.  Meanwhile, the British colonists troll the Scottish immigrants.  Chris discovers more lands of Cumber- specifically one formed from Goochland.

Matt wonders whatever happened to Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette, aka Marquise de mark and le Funky Bunch.  You know, other than joining the war for American Independence and getting a city in North Carolina named after him.  Chris wonders why the Cape Fear River gets no respect in the Cumberland- at least to dateSeriously they just leave World War II subchasers sitting there.

Matt and Chris listen to Yo La Tengo’s I Can Hear the Heart Beating As One.

You can listen to this episode of the County Boys podcast:

Episode 25 – Craving Some Lords Proprietors in Craven County

A New Bern Bear in Morgan’s Tavern

Matt and Chris toast Craven County with a Devil’s Tramping Ground Trippel from Aviator Brewing.  Craven County has it all: IBX! The Lords Proprietors! Regulators! Palaces! Pepsi! Horse heads! Bears! Yet again Chris goes into a long and drawn out history lesson.  Matt expresses his distaste for rivers with wide mouths.  Chris ponders the storage practices of the New Bern Fireman’s Museum.

Chris couldn’t find a beer from Craven County, or from Neuse River Brewing Company, so they enjoyed a beer from Wake County’s Aviator Brewing Company.

Unfortunately Chris couldn’t share a beer this time with Craven County native Brian, who talks with Matt and Chris about his home county, and his preference for a non-native soda.

Another New Bern Bear


Matt and Chris listen to the Smashing Pumpkins’ Siamese Dream.

You can listen to this episode:

Episode 24 – The Food Capitals of Columbus County

Matt is enthusiastic about our microphones. Chris reads one skeptical take on the ghosts of Heartbeat Bridge.  Matt reminisces about whacking moles, while Chris talks about the Waccamaw Indians.  Matt gets confused about the bay area and Carolina Bay lakes.  Chris talks about the Strawberry, Watermelon, and Yam capitals of the world… or at least of Columbus County. Like any good food capital, Columbus County plays host to a related festival for each food.

You can #KeepItColumbus… anywhere you watch this video:

Matt and Chris listen to Slayer’s Reign in Blood.

You can listen to this episode.


Episode 23 – Believe in the Cleveland County

Its raining at least one Benjamin on the County Boys. Chris really gets into the Revolutionary War and the Battle of Kings Mountain which probably occurred… on Browns Mountain in South Carolina.  Matt praises the historical society and preservation folks of Shelby and Cleveland County.  Chris talks about Oliver Max and the Cleveland County Dynasty (which does not involve the Cavaliers or Indians).  Matt talks about the livermush festival.

Matt and Chris talk with a Cleveland County native Sean.  Sean describes the world’s most delicious rivalry.

The Battle of Kings Mountain by Don Troiani.

You can watch a piece on the Revolutionary War drama Liberty Mountain:

Matt and Chris listen to Frank Ocean’s nostalgia, ULTRA.

You can hear about Cleveland County North Carolina and listen to this episode:

Episode 22 – Whigging out with Opossoms in Clay County

Matt talks about clay, the stuff you make bricks with.  Chris talks about Clay, the dude with 16 counties named after him but otherwise a perennial (presidential) loser.  Matt exposes other popular counties (you may want to avert your ears). Chris finds it curious that the popularity of OJ Simpson’s original lawyers far exceeds that of many other criminals.  Matt calls Time Out on Chunky Gal Mountain.

Clay County rings in the New Years with an annual Opossom Drop.

You can watch the Opossom drop without harming animals:

Chris and Matt listen to Oasis’ (What’s the Story) Morning Glory.

You can listen to Episode 22:

Episode 21 – Tea Parties and Chowan County

The Lords Proprietors make a triumphant return.  Matt discusses the type of people residing in Shaftesbury.  Chris talks about a few famous residents of Chowan County that went on to get their own county (names).  Matt talks about presidential crimes, misdemeanors, and the beaches of Chowan County.  Chris talks about the surprisingly broad array of tea parties.

A derogatory take on the Edenton Tea Party

Chris explains why there is a dead fish on the Chowan County seal.

Matt and Chris listen to Bikini Kill’s The Singles from 1998.

You can listen to this episode:

Episode 20 – Trails to and from Cherokee County

Chris talks about the Qualla Boundary, colloquially known as the Cherokee reservation- despite the fact that the land that was purchased privately and not reserved by any government for the Cherokee.  Matt expresses his anger at the treatment of Native Americans during their relocation in the 1800s on the Trail of Tears.  Chris discusses the process of pumping water up to the top of a damn to store energy.  Matt admonishes Chris for mentioning other forms of media or entertainment that may distract our listener.  Matt notices the frequency with which leaders go into the woods and come up with an epiphany that starts a movement. Chris points out that “they” have in fact done a religious-themed putt-putt course.


The 10 Commandments at Fields of the Wood


Matt and Chris listen to Weezer’s Pinkerton.

Episode 19 – Lions and Tigers and Chatham County

Chris respects the Baroness.  While disavowing his belief in a corporal devil as such, Matt describes the place in Chatham County where the devil may enter the Earth. Matt dives deep into his fascination of mermaids with his own mermaid theory.

Mermaid Point sits at the confluence of Deep River and Haw River in Chatham County.

Chris questions the propriety of a Chatham County farm contest.  https://www.essaybluebirdhillfarm.com/

Matt and Chris listen to Tricky’s Maxinquaye.

You can listen to this podcast:

Episode 18 – Balls Creek and Catawba County

Chris talks about the Catawba tribe. Matt dreams about colleges and states named after him. Chris talks about being swept up by a revival.  Matt notices a famous musician from Newton.  Chris discusses the mechanics of fording a river which leaves Matt wanting to go deep into Balls Creek and its love shack.


Matt and Chris listen to Japandroids’ Celebration Rock.

Episode 17 – Caswell County

A very special guest makes his first appearance on the County Boys podcast.  Chris gets up for a hoedown.  Matt plays Hollywood Squares.  Chris talks about curing tobacco.  Everyone visits one man’s retirement hobby, a leprechaun village in Caswell County.  Matt guesses why the Dan River is named the Dan River.

A Village for Ants?
Caswell County Center for Ants Who Cant Read Good

Chris mounts up for the War of the Regulators.

Chris and Matt discuss their retirement plans.  Matt and Chris listen to A Tribe Called Quest.



Episode 16 – The Crystal Coast and Carteret County

Carteret County’s Cape Lookout Lighthouse

Matt is Craven’ for some pancakes. Chris brings it back to the Lords Proprietor. Matt picks Mugsy Bogues Banks to win it all in County Boys bracketology. Chris recalls running 200 miles to the beach. Matt pines for the pines of the forests of Carteret. Chris notes the separation of time from Jenkins losing his ear to the war over its loss.

Matt and Chris listen to Arcade Fire’s Funeral. But they should have just watched this video.



Episode 15 – Pratt, Moses, And Camden County

Matt laments not reaching the 40 under 40 in his home county, the smaller Camden county, or any county anywhere. Chris talks about the two most important people in Camden County history, neither of whom are named “Camden”. Matt breaks down the food-currency exchange rate. Chris discusses the decision to settle down in the worst real estate in the area.

Just one opportunity awaits in Camden County

Chris apologizes for not noticing on the podcast that Camden County is on twitter.  

Chris and Matt listen to the Pixies’ Surfer Rosa.

Episode 14 – William The Black and Caldwell County

Matt briefs us on French towns in North Carolina, including Le Xington, the place where bbq comes from.  Chris notices that we never talk about ghost counties. Matt plans to have a bodacious time at a (his?) bachelor party.


Chris wonders how long you have to wait before making light of a gruesome murder with a folk song.

Matt and Chris listen to Madonna’s Like a Prayer, TV on the Radio’s Return to Cookie Mountain, and GZA’s Liquid Swords.

Episode 12 – Fort San Juan and Burke County

Matt discuses the unit of measurement for success in his family.  Chris discusses the life’s work of an archaeologist- discovering a ditch in Burke County.  Matt opines that dinner should be the last thing to happen on a date, not the first.

Chris gets ticked off at the movie producers of Master of the World. Table Rock is near Morganton in Burke County, North Carolina, while Morgantown Pennsylvania is nowhere near any mountains, much less table rock.

Matt and Chris listen to Miranda Lambert’s Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.

Episode 11 – Gee Haw Whimmy Buncombe County

Chris and Matt discuss the etymology of the word bunk.  Sam Ashe returns to the podcast.  Matt expresses his approval of Roy Fox’s handiwork from 1920.  Chris expresses his disapproval of the licensing costs imposed on select professionals by the city of Asheville.

Chris practices the Gee Haw Whimmy Diddle.

Matt and Chris listen to Missy Elliott’s Supa Dupa Fly.

You can listen to Episode 11:

Episode 10 – Brunswick County and BooYah Stew

Chris tries to nail down the ranking of hobos on the coolness/joke scale. Matt has a great business model for a stew-based foodtruck.  Chris notes some of the advances of airport security in the past 50 years and joins Robert Stack to solve a mystery.  Matt expounds on his crappy county seal theory.

Matt and Chris listen to Daft Punk’s Homework.

Episode 09 – Bladen County and Lord of the Plantains

Chris discusses the election results… of Bladen County Commissioner and decides to plan a party in early November. Matt advises the undead to check their political affiliations before they vote after returning to the land of the living. Chris recounts the famous dance broadway show Lord of the Plantains.

Matt and Chris listen to The White Stripes’ White Blood Cells.

Episode 08 – IBX OBX throwdown (Bertie County)

Matt reminisces about the idyllic beauty of a place he has never been to based solely on his impression of its “cute” name. Chris discovers a new geographic belt. Matt shares his fears and/or history of interspecies breeding.

Matt and Chris listen to New Order’s Low-Life.


Episode 07 – It’s a Podcast – Beaufort County

Matt tells his dog to stop barking.  Chris and Matt watch a video.  Matt speculates why Blackbeard could not hack the domestic life.  Chris outlines the amazing oddities of the Belhaven Memorial Museum.

Chris and Matt listen to Blur #13.

Episode 06 – I Challenge Thee to a Highland Game Event of My Choosing – Avery County

Chris recounts the famous duel between Waightstill Avery and Andrew Jackson. Matt reminisces about his snowy mountain drives through Avery County. Matt advises against wearing a bear costume, while Chris talks about running the Bear.

Matt talks about a very special sponsor.

Chris and Matt bring in our first guest, Eric, to talk about living in Avery County, and the table tennis academies that litter the mountain landscape.

Andrew Jackson's challenge of Waitstill Avery to a duel

Episode 05 – Way down in the Hole – Ashe County

Chris double-checks the spelling of Ashe county.  Matt mourns the absence of towns named Matt.  Chris notes a few trending articles at Self magazine.  Matt depresses Chris with the demise of Alf.  Chris depresses Matt with the demise of the Dinosaurs.  Matt discusses a dark chapter in Ashe County’s history.

Chris and Matt listened to Boards of Canada’s Music Has The Right to Children.

Recovery efforts underway in 1982 at Ore Knob Copper Mine

Intro/Outro music credit to “Something Elated” by Broke For Free used under Creative Commons.

Episode 04 – TLGhostboro – Anson County

Chris discusses his afternoon plans to annex part of Anson county.  Matt discusses stainless steel building expansions. Chris notices Pinterest corporate decluttering. Matt is ashamed of scrubiness.

Matt and Chris listened to TLC’s CrazySexyCool.


Credit for Intro/Outro goes to Justin Mahar and “Grind” used under Creative Commons. Cheers mate.

Episode 03 – Alleghany Pacific Islanders – Alleghany County

Chris notices that we misspelled Allegheny.  Matt has opinions on Ohio. Chris talks about jewelry.

No Mouth Of Wilson

Matt and Chris started listening to music on Spin’s Top 300 albums of the last 30 years. We started at #100, Guided By Voices’ Bee Thousand.

Credit for Intro/Outro goes to Justin Mahar and “Grind” used under Creative Commons. Cheers mate.

Episode 02 – Brushy Mountain Fever – Alexander County

Chris packs a half full bottle of water to traverse the Brushy Mountains.  Matt has an urge to visit Sugarloaf.  Chris notes that everyone loves the beach, while Matt directs the beach tribe movie.  Matt talks about the passion of serving Captain D’s.

The Pride of Alexander County

Episode 00 – No County for Old Men

Chris forgot the dongle so Matt talked with an echo.  Chris found a boat that comes with a yeti.  (A cooler not a microphone).  Matt talked about JC Penney.

Chris found a Yeti for the Podcast
Chris found a Yeti for the Podcast

Credit for Intro/Outro goes to Justin Mahar and “Grind” used under Creative Commons. Cheers mate.


chris: …I feel your idea of the opening topic probably being Randolph County history for 15 seconds, or 30 seconds, just immediatley launching into something else and never getting back to the history. We could do that for all 100 counties of North Carolina?

matt: Oh, I like that.

chris: So then it’s something different every time. But it’s a theme you just don’t much time on it

matt: Yeh. It would hurt more people, so I’m in favor of that. Well, actually I say that….but it’s really a celebration.

chris: I’m selling myself on this idea because one of the things about the Randolph County one is that…and I assume this applies to Wikipedia and could make it kinda humorous. If you’re on the really big, really popular Wikipedia pages like for Hillary Clinton or World Cup Team that is this year. Those pages are constantly getting loaded and edited and reviewed, so theres no way that you can make some goofy comment on there that could last longer than 3 minutes.

matt: No, you’d get sued.

chris: Or some person would come along and say ‘Hillary Clinton does not have 3 chins, I’m gonna change that – she only has 1 chin.’

matt: Those editors weild their power, yes.

chris: So I imagine that’s not the case for some of these less visited pages like The Counties in North Carolina.

matt: Absolutely.

chris: So we could kinda discover humorous things that people left in Wikipedia.

matt: I think you’re totally right man. We found a topic we can own because no one cares about it. And thats what you gotta do.

chris: I like it.

matt: I like it too. You got any title ideas?

chris: Other than County Boys, no.

matt: County Boys?

chris: The topics, I’m reluctant to talk about those because I don’t have the headset hooked up and I don’t think it’s going to be an ideal recording.

matt: Gotcha.

chris: But I am talking into this $300 Blue Yeti microphone that I just picked up.

matt: Are you serious?

chris: No.

matt: Man, I’ve wanted that f***in thing since I saw the word Yeti.

chris: I don’t understand it. So they sell microphones and coolers? But you’ve got to be able to buy those things second hand for cheap right?

matt: Yeh. It’s pretty cool

chris: Well it looks like, according to Craigslist, you can spend $90 for a Blue Yeti Blackout microphone or you can spend $36,500 on a 2013 Tidewater….with a warenty.

matt: Holy…o h my God. What was that?

chris: That happens to be a boat.

matt: That’s a boat.

chris: I’m curious why they have Yeti in the…ok, oh, there’s a really nice Yeti cooler and a yeti coller slide that comes with the boat. So, I don’t know…you could spend $100 on Amazon or get yourself a boat that comes with a Yeti cooler. Obviously, the podcast would have to start out with ‘I’m on a boat…’

matt: Yeh, it would be recorded presumably on a boat but there’s no proff of that. I personally just feel connected with all the counties, so for me, it’s reaaly exciting,

chris: Yeh, you truly are a County Boy, Matt.

matt: Yeh, oh man. And I’m thinking of all the various things that could go along with it…I’m still more on the historical angle here…but I’m just talking out loud…the sesqui-sesqui-centennials. And the various parades and honoring the county history and the interesting chronology. County seats…and each county has a courthouse. Day to day life of the settlers and Quakers. Trucks throughout the various decades. Things like that.

chris: When the first Bojangles opened in that county.

matt: I think everyone’s familiar with that history. It’s been bespoken throughout my family

chris: I can remember when the …well, I was trying to say that I could remembere when the first Bojangles opened in Thomasville. Thomasville of course is not a county…

matt: It’s not. Nor is it a county seat.

chris: Damn you. Well, I feel like we’ve got some good ideas here that we can work through when I actually have the headset…when I buy this $36,000 boat that comes with a yeti…we can record semi-professionally.

matt: I did have some ideas about…well, let’s say we were courting a …because we obviously have inventory

chris: That’s right, I completely forgot…JC Penney.

matt: JC Penneys, Randolph County mall, Asheboro, North Carolina. Best deals. $14.99 Stafford travel easy care broadcloth dress shirt. Join our e-club. JC Penneys, Randolph County Mall. When it fits, you feel it.

chris: what…

matt: That’s their slogan. I don’t know…I didn’t…I mean, it makes me….I know what you’re…when it fits….you feel it. That’s some subtle s**t right there. And I don’t care if it means they are just going to send us 4 gift cards in the mail.

chris: That would be pretty tight.

matt: Yeh, they have quality products at JC Penneys. When it fits you feel….Randolph County Mall…40% off Arizona toddlers and preschooler’s apparel. $12.99 Carters little layet. Join our e-club. But…I had some alcohol.

chris: Yeh, well that’s a good picker upper.

matt: Yeh, that made me put on the facade that I need to.

chris: I had Oreos.

matt: That works too. I might should go with some sugar. JC Penneys buy one get one 50% off men’s underwear or socks from Stafford, Hanes, Addidas, Rico, Nike, and Dockers.

chris: I have to ask – does JC Penneys sell Oreos or alcohol?

matt: JC Penneys is the only true vendor of all products. 40-50% off juniors dresses and By-and-By apparel.

chris: I mean, how many counties in North Carolina have a JC Penneys?

matt: I don’t know, but if we can get a piece of the action of bringing it to the people. Or if they can somehow fund this. We could just have the camera on our pants. In fact I like that a lot.

chris: I do not like the idea of a podcast where the camera is focused on our pants.

matt: It’s pants. It’s not shorts.

chris: I am still against an idea of a camera focused on your pants Matt.

matt: I want them to see it. JC Penneys

chris: There may be an audience for the pants cam, Matt, but…hopefully not in this house. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I think it’s legal now, right? I can’t keep track of what the legislature’s doing from one day to the next…I mean this is kinda amazing – same day pick up is free at JC Penney’s.

matt: I agree, Chris.

chris: At least 13 different items that, at least according to a search engine, can be classified as a…Blue Yeti. None of which are actually manufactured by Blue Yeti.

matt: I think you’re fixated on this brand at this point. Don’t buy a boat. Don’t even buy a mic.

chris: I already have an appointment to meet this guy.

matt: This guy? This should be a company where you enter a credit card. And you get an email. And they ship it to you. Total anonymity.

chris: I don’t know. I think it’s gonna work out. I’ll probably try to figure out if I can commute to work on my Blue yeti boat.

matt: The only other idea I had was taking questions meant for celebrities and asking them to you. Any way you look at it, I’m just gonna poop out gold. You’re gonna need a $1,000 microphone.

chris: That I believe, Matt.

matt: And can prove it. We’ll just put the camera down there and I’ll be in there in my slacks.

chris: I’m willing to believe that we don’t have to go to JC Penneys to get a camera to aim at your new slacks. With free shipping, on orders over $50.

matt: I guarentee you I can bring in a larger audience that way. I just don’t know about…we’re gonna have to advertise different things.

chris: I’m not sure if I’m interested in chasing after all audiences.

matt: Like the **** audience, or the various…I don’t know man….we have the inventory, people want it, we’re not going to give it away for cheap, and someboy’s going to have to come and win it from us. Right now, I would consider us 50% inventory gone. Because we probably have that promised to JC Penneys. If not them, Belks will come calling. If not them, Dillards will come calling. If not them, TJ Maxx.

chris: I don’t know if I’m allowed to use cool for this…ya know, Belk has the Belk Bowl ad their Twitter account is kinda fun.

matt: Oh snap.

chris: Well, I gotta go solve this rubix cube but I’ll catch up with you at work tomorrow.

matt: Sounds good.

chris: Alright, later Matt.

matt: See ya.